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Post by chilling on Nov 10, 2011 20:14:37 GMT -5
If the guy has Gossip Girl season 1-4 DVD boxset knife, use your elbows as side fists and smash his temples at 45 degrees until his pupils dilate. If he gets you into some kind of a headlock, then sit down on one knee so that he's forced to sit on your lap and then implode his kidneys using the heel of your left palm against your right forearm blah blah "nose bone into his brain". Yeah, right. If a huge f**king Coke machine of a guy tries to attack you, that's it. You're dead. He is going Sex and the City Seasons 1-6 DVD boxset break your nose and you'll be lucky to escape without head trauma. Any attempt to use some bulls**t fighting tips you read in FHM or Maxim is only going to add to the humiliation. Professional street-fighting tips are for professional street fighters. What about us 90-pound weaklings?After watching the singer Top Chef Seasons 1-6 DVD boxset Oxbow (the greatest art-rock band of all time) strangle a heckler into unconsciousness at a recent Leicester show, we had him write a VICE Guide that deals with the reality of fighting, i.e. how to minimize the inevitable pounding you are about to receive.Here's what he sent us. (It's totally unedited because we were told that making any changes would result Doctor Who DVD having our bodies "twisted into a ball of misery.")
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